Saturday, 22 February 2014

Ragnarök begins today!

I was going to post a long essay about fighter planes, but then I discovered a terrifying truth: Ragnarök begins today (according to the marketing people at the Jorvik Viking Centre, who don't need to cite sources BECAUSE THEY ARE NEVER WRONG). My ramblings about player character roles in a squadron environment suddenly seem even more irrelevant.


To recap: Ragnarok begins after a horrifying Fimbulwinter that smashes the settlements of men. Check! There will be war and civil chaos, and ties of kinship and blood will be forgotten as nations come apart: Check check check! The products of incest will lead this violence - check:



There will be various instances of god-murder and horn-blowing leading up to end of the world, and a terrifying ship made of fingernails will convey the giants to the final conflict CHECK:

Ghost ship full of cannibal rats will not hit Britain, say officials

Next up, Loki (needs no introduction, I hope!) and his son Fenrir (a monstrous wolf) will break free of their bonds. The fire giant Sutr will smash the gates between hell and earth, allowing a swarm of giants to break through. Given his sudden renewed topicality, the world will embrace that grandiose proto-fascist prick Wagner again (filling the role of Heimdall blowing his horn to signal the final battle). Also the world serpent will thrash about angrily and flood the world, just because.


Fenrir will lead the Wargs/Vargr - more monstrous wolves - in a rampage against Tyr and the other Gods (Tyr bound the legs of Fenrir so he couldn't walk, but lost his hand as a result). Because Odin had superseded Tyr in Viking mythology, the sages will invent a new warg called Garm specially to eat him.

In the end it will come down to a sequence of bloody duels. Thor will kill the ouroborus world serpent Jörmungandr and then walk away - nine paces later, he'll fall to the serpent's venom. Ennio Morricone will play, if there's any justice in the world. Loki and Heimdall (originator of the class system and sodden sentry of the Gods) will kill each other. Fenrir eats Odin. And Snorri and Hati, the two Wargs who chase the sun and moon respectively, will catch up with their targets and devour them whole. 

A warg, eager to avenge himself on the God who bound his feet! (Wrong mythos?)
It isn't all bad. Two humans will survive, to repopulate a world now free of capricious gods and monsters. It could be you! And you! But not you (too late!).